Saturday, June 26, 2010

Making Up Emma: Showmance

Hi everyone! Hope your summer is off to a fantastic start! It's time for another installment of our weekly Glee hiatus fix!

Summer Rewind

Showmance 1.02

The second episode of Glee starts with a BANG!

Literally, Emma bangs into Will.

She might look like a baby deer in a cardigan, but she’s got some messy (WINK WINK) ideas in her mind when it comes to one William River Schuester. (Will's mom was a hippie in her day, it was either River or Starshine.)

With Emma’s childhood dreams of being a guidance-counselor-ninja now shattered, she moves on to helping Will clean that classroom that apparently has not been cleaned since 1973 with the attention Will is giving it. (Speaking as a teacher, I was lucky if my trashcans got emptied every day. Can I get a job at McKinley where a fine-lookin’ janitor comes into my classroom and dusts and scrubs things down? I'll take a pay cut!)

After buffing and polishing the staplers, Will decides to test Emma’s germ phobia.

Emma’s heart races, her breath stops. HE IS TOUCHING HER NOSE. HER CUTE LIL’ SANITIZED BUTTON NOSE. If we had x-ray vision, this is what we would have seen:

Miss Pillsbury’s heart on fire and radioactive butterflies in her large intestine. Emma would be all weirded out by us seeing her x-ray though, so don’t stare.

The poor dear is so awestruck by being that close to Will, she doesn’t flinch when he gets a little carried away.

That owl has no real reason to be there. I just like owls. They always look so shocked and angry at everything. :D

As you can see, Emma’s hair is responding to her proximity to Will. In a few minutes, she’ll have a Mohawk.

A flustered Emma leaves Will to play with the chalk alone and goes to the bathroom to wash up and calm down! That was INTENSE!! Staring at each other like a couple of weirdos locked in a staring contest! She runs into resident pain-in-the-butt Rachel, who has her head inside the toilet. Emma briefly contemplates just shoving Rachel down totally but decides against it because she is a teacher, and because she thinks Rachel is feisty and will fight, and Emma is not wearing her ass-kicking J. Crew shoes today.

She takes the angsty teen back to her office for a little heart-to-heart.

Rachel asks Emma a serious question.

Emma is shocked. Did Rachel see her sexy little face-paint party with Will in the classroom? Oh God!! What else has she seen?! Did she see Emma peeping into Will’s bathroom that one time he took a bubble bath and she was driving by and like, thought she saw something suspicious happening in the window and had to check cause she’s part of the Neighborhood Watch even though she doesn’t live in Will’s neighborhood but she’s like, a good citizen?!?

She DID!! UGH. Rachel is everywhere! Emma goes out to her car to cry it all out for a bit, to a song that perfectly sums up her feelings for Will.

Don't fight Bieber fever. It's coming for us all.

Feeling better, she joins the Glee club in their R-Rated performance in front of the school, with another song that also perfectly sums up her feelings for Will:

BUT! There is one person who was NOT okay with the Chalk Incident. Ken (or Kin, as Emma calls him) Tanaka. Kin is peeved. He’s been begging Emma to go out with him by enticing her with all the best date ideas he knows.


While we’re here at this scene, a little makeup assessment:

False eyelashes are made of WIN.

After the kids got reprimanded by Figgins for performing that song Will finds Emma scrubbing a water fountain she would never be drinking out of with a toothbrush and asks her if they can play with chalk again (WINK WINK) later in the evening. Apparently, Will forgot about his sweet wife back home.

The day before, Terri informed him she is finally pregnant. With a ComfortEase Extra Firm pillow, but she’s pregnant nonetheless.

And although Emma would love nothing more than to let Will chalk her up once again, she does the right thing.

And this is where we leave our star-crossed, chalk-touching, sharpener-shining future-lovers. A woman as stylish and successful as Emma Pillsbury has resorted to dating a man made of Tater Tots who wears Daisy-Dukes every single day, and Will Schuester goes back to his "pregnant" wife and has to come up with new Glee songs that don't involve fornicatin'.

So, WWEPWers, fave Emma look from Showmance?


brigittemarie said...

HAHA! This had me almost falling out of my chair laughing :P Very nice!!

Anonymous said...

hahaha this is amazing. I can't even pick a look I'm too busy choking on my tea. Thanks for that.

Eliz said...


And yay, A BUNNEH! I love her "WUT" expression in the cap after that. Ohh Emma.

"You're having a pillow." LOL If only she had really said this.

I loved all her looks in this ep, but especially the toilet/bunneh one (what a description). I would like it to appear in my closet, please and thanks.

You're AAAMAZING, Teresa, as always!!

Emma said...

Loved the one with ET!!!!!! I was laughing so hard!

Emma said...

"Will, what are we doing? You're having a pillow."

Teresa u are amazing.

Amberdawn said...

Agreed, her makeup is amazing just in time for her "report card."

Keep these coming please, they're hilarious :D Got so wrapped up in this episode today that I was almost late for my hair appointment.

Sarahnargle said...

Can't. Decide. Hair Flip. Confusing Me. BEST OUTFITS EVARRRRR.

Owl Clips!

Megan said...

Emma in the bandana and doorknocker earrings? LOVE IT.

I also love the sweater she's wearing when she's crying in the car. I don't remember what skirt she had on but that sweater is so awesome it doesn't even matter.

Silly Bee's Chickadees said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Silly Bee's Chickadees said...

You're having a pillow!!!!
Yay, Legoland!

-Emma Pillsbury Birthday Party Melissa

Liz H. said...

bahahahahah <3 omg i am cracking up soo much right now!!! <3 Teresa I love that you are helping us get through the hiatus. Now time to quote you a ton!!
"You're having a pillow" ROFL <3
The bathroom scene!! SOMEONE DRAIN THAT WATER STAT!! <3 ahaha :D
The chalk scene was hilarious with Emma covered in chalk and the bandanna killed me!! <3
Favorite outfit: I love the bathroom outfit so much!! <3 I also love her green milly shirt sweater, the chalk outfit, and the water fountain outfit (I love them all!!)

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

I am "srsly" in love with your blog!! Your posts always make me smile. :)

Hot Mess Housewife said...

I can't decide what's better - Ninja Emma or Emma in a doo-rag. Both... so... made of win...

Original Mischief said...

Uuuh, I think I peed. LOL. You rock!

Anonymous said...

Ahahah! Teresa you continue to leave me in stitches! Doo-rag Emma for the win!!! Loved the chalk faced Emma!

Haha, Emma and Kin at a mud wrestling convention!

I love all of Emma's outfits in this episode so much! Especially the Milly sweater and owl sweater clips! :)

I Look forward to your posts Teresa!!!

Permanent Rose said...

Ninja Emma is my favorite look, tbh :P

Great job, Teresa. Well done, as always ;)

Courtney said...

Omg, Teresa - for serious, you are KILLING ME HERE. This much laughing cannot be good for me. The do-rag! The ninja! The x-ray with the radioactive butterflies! Too freakin hilar, lady. Please keep 'em coming!!

Love your work :-D

Anonymous said...

OMFG! Justin Bieber! Ryan Cabrera!! ET!!! <3

Helen Ellis said...

I love this site more than Glee. There, I said it.

AmyB said...

Don't fight Bieber fever, it's coming for all of us..ahhhaahaahaahaaa..Big Darth Vader NOOOOOOO!!

Now I absolutely know what I have been missing in my jewelry box. Live owl sweater clips!!! Have to be mindful of the poo and mouse carcasses though.

Teresa-Thank you thank you thank you for the bare-chested wet Willy Schuester (not quite money) shot. Love it when a plan comes together.

Jesslyn said...

So funny! Love the butteryfly-Xray pic.

vacantmuse said...

ILU. for srsly. this is so what i needed!

Dana said...

Will, what are we doing? You're having a pillow...

LMFAO! Potato Head Kin!

Srsly, I'm choking laughing here...

Anonymous said...

ahahaha lol u seriously have to make more of these!! I was laughing so much! especially loved the potatoes and the ninja and the neighborhood watch ;)
also I am in love with ALL emmas cardigans!! and jewelry!!

Nikki Cogg said...

OMG I AM DYING AT THE E.T. "Emmmmaaaa" lol! Literally laughing out loud at work- I needed this today. Thank you!

Tea said...

So this has seriously taken me a while to re-gain my composure enough to type but I just need to say Teresa + Glee + MS Paint = comedic GENIUS!!! Don't stop ok? We are soooo lucky to have wwepw and your contributions here and we really need you to get through this trying time ok?

Also I kind of like to imagine that the show's producers will stop by here and realise that they should in fact be busy making a spin-off show where we get to see everything from Emma's perspective and get to go shopping with her. Could start a campaign?