Friday, June 4, 2010

Making Up Emma - Funk

Teresa is BACK with more hilarity!


what would emma pillsbury wear's episode re-edit

Well, it seems our well-dressed redheaded darling was absent again this week, but have no fear, I have once again edited this episode to include Emma Pillsbury and to also explain her time away! Because for real, don’t the producers realize wwepw fans depend on her?! It’s called What Would Emma Pillsbury Wear, not How Much Free Time Does Teresa Have (which is loads btw) To Re-Create an Episode For Us With Emma Because We Miss Her. Gosh. NO.


Well, I found out!! AND IT IS SCANDALOUS!

Turns out, Emma is keeping a secret from Will. She’s not at SAT Prep like she’s been telling everyone. Will hired a PI to do some investigating, because seriously who does that much SAT Prep? (and it’s fun to snoop on people with binoculars!) Ever since Terri stuffed a throw pillow in her shirt and called it baby, Will is extremely thuthpithus. Anyway the PI came back with an incriminating photo:

Emma has been seeing someone else.

Of course Will is shocked and appalled. A SMURF?! Of all things, not some hot scientist or even a teenage boy that turns into a giant werewolf, but a SMURF? Emma comes back to McKinley but Will is still upset. He decides to channel all his anger about being ditched for a tiny blue thing into seducing Sue so she leaves Glee alone. He also tries to buy drugs from Sandy. That was his lowest point.

Well, that and singing out “Funkyyyyyyttooooownnnnn.” That was also bad.

BUT what Will doesn’t know is that Emma and Sue have joined forces, and Emma is on to his deceptive game! She’s a smart cookie! She knows! She tries to warn Sue about the force of nature that is Will Schuester, but Sue doesn’t want to believe she could ever succumb to his charms or the invisible love sprinkles that shoot from his unbelievably toned body and make everyone in his vicinity want to jump on him. OH SUE. WATCH OUT. THEY WORK.

I meant that to be like Harry Potter's lightning mark but it looks like Will's forehead was cracked in two and gushing blood. I shouldn't have used red. This is like when my mom got me a photo cake for my birthday and the picture was me and the filling was strawberry gel and when we sliced it it looked like my face was being stabbed and bleeding, lol. ANYHOOTER...

But does Sue Sylvester listen to the woman she has described as a “mentally ill ginger pygmy with eyes like a bush baby”? NOOOO. WELL THOSE EYES HELP HER SEE THE FUTURE, SUE. And she saw a disaster coming from a mile away!

Cause Will’s got a butt that don’t stop! Awwww yeah!!


Will sings a song to make Sue weak in the knees but as he’s undressing, his jacket sleeves get stuck (don’t you hate when that happens?) and Emma cannot believe what is unfolding in front of her. WILL IS SEDUCING SUE. Tell me something good? TELL ME THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!

SUE summoned every ounce of resistance in her, but Emma watched in shock as even SHE succumbed to Will's charms.

TERRI DEL MONACO SCHUESTER DEL MONACO! And she isn’t happy about having been gone so long.

Emma then confronts Will about his actions, and they get into a heated argument. Will accuses her of not knowing a thing about love since she ditched him for a CGI blob who wears a weird hat and ISN’T EVEN 6 INCHES TALL. Emma is appalled! What did the Smurfs ever do to him?!

And for the record, Emma would like to clear up something. She knows a LOT about love. She loves a lot of things, okay?

In the end, Sue regretted not listening to Emma’s warnings about Will being out to break her heart. Emma was right. He’s a heartbreaker. No matter how sexy he is, HE BREAKS HEARTS LIKE HE BREAKS TROPHIES. Will tries to apologize to Emma about his actions with Sue…but she’s not having it.

If Will Schuester ever wants to get back in Emma’s good graces he needs to clean up his act and maybe drop some more paper near her. And never, ever, ever do this again:

Srsly Will. Don’t you dare.

Can't wait for next week when I KNOW FOR SURE we will see Emma again!! This was fun, hope you liked it!


Danielle said...

A standing ovation alone for "Terri Del Monaco Schuester Del Monaco." HA!

AmyB said...

Teresa. I freaking love you. Anyhooter.

Liz H. said...

rofl rofl rofl rofl <33 OMG you are soo awesome Teresa! haha I loove how Terri calls it "The itunes" lol <3 sooo funny!!! Those magic sprinkles must radiate from the tv <3

Emma said...

So funny! I love the list of things Emma loves. Nicely done. :D

Adie said...

RAWR! I love this one the most so far! Yay, Teresa! Teresa, Hooray! <3

Silly Bee's Chickadees said...

I love love sprinkles!

Anonymous said...

EPIC POST TERESA!!! Lol, There's no hope for dope! I love the butt pics..for many reasons! And I agree completely with "No kissing non-Emmas" When will Will get it?

Permanent Rose said...

You make it okay that Emma isn't in the actual episodes :)

christine said...

You. are. brilliant. and. funny!

Danielle said...

Oh, TERESA. At this point I am practically rooting for Emma to not come back to Glee just so we can read how you write her in. So funny!

Sarahnargle said...

When Emma comes back (yay hooray Halleluja!) will you write her into all the scenes without her? Please please please?

Yay Teresa! Teresa Hooray!

Charlotte said...

So this entire blog is pure genius.


Courtney said...

Roflmao, for serial. I particularly love the side-note about the face-cake and the simulated facial bleeding. Mums are so awesome :-)

And yes, Will is a bit slow in the learning department. Love your work :-D

Nadine said...

Ahahahaha! Snort!


Yeah, baby.

Heather said...


Srs, I am writing a lengthy letter to Ryan Murphy to get you in on screenwriting and special FX duty (you see what I did there, with the F and the X together making a sound like the word 'effects'?)

Anonymous said...

this is brilliant :)

Teresa said...

As always, my absolute pleasure! I'm so happy to share my love of Glee and Microsoft Paint with the universe. THANKS GUYS!!!

Dana said...

Can has drugs? LOL!!!

These are so great.

Anonymous said...

This is awesome! And Mark Paul <3 !!!

Michelle said...



Jaimie said...

I really need to not read this at work. I'm basically dying here in my cubicle I'm laughing so hard...thank goodness nobody is in yet. Classic!

Lisa said...

You crack me up! I love it!

Mrs M said...

This is amazing.