Until then, I leave you with yet another masterpiece by my girl Teresa, who deserves a lifetime unlimited gift card to DSW for her amazing contributions to WWEPW. XOXO
Emma Pillsbury was sadly absent from this week's episode Theatricality AGAIN (not because they don't like her, but Jayma Mays is filming The Smurfs Movie in NY and asked to be written out so she can spend time chasing pretend little blue things instead of wearing awesome J. Crew shoes *sigh*) and not only do we not get any fabulous new clothes to fawn over, I have no Emma hair and makeup to analyze!
FOR SHAME, RYAN MURPHY.
So where is Emma? No one explained! Was there some intensive SAT Prep that she could not leave? Insane sale at J. Crew? In our Ricky Ricardo voice: WHA HOPPEN?!?! I was confused and/or worried! What would I write about?
But then my best friend had an idea!! I could just use the magic of Paint and insert Emma into this week's scenes! YAY!! She had been drinking wine, too---I think wine gives people great ideas!
So here we go, exclusively for What Would Emma Pillsbury Wear:
Theatricality WITH Emma!
Theatricality WITH Emma!
After Rachel introduces herself to the mother who gave her away at birth to two fathers (who are never home!) with a serious concern for their daughter's hydration when she's upset, Emma overhears them as she is walking to SAT Prep and offers some helpful advice.
While Finn tries to take off his KISS makeup with his own saliva like a sad feral cat, Emma offers some makeup advice to the misguided teen. Too bad he's too upset about sharing a room with Kurt, who turns it into a weird Midwestern hookah lounge.
Emma is not a very big Lady Gaga fan, but she is a big fan of laughing at weirdos. And lobsterfaces.
Seeing what its done for the Glee kids, Emma decides that she wants to be a part of the theatrical magic, too. She wants to go GAGA! So before she leaves for SAT Prep, she finds the craziest outfit she owns: Princess Diana's wedding dress.
After the heated argument between Burt Hummel and Finn, Emma finds herself in the bedroom of the Hummel house as it is on her way to SAT Prep and offers some help, but she is yelled at by Burt, who can only take so much drama in one day and REALLY HATES PURELL. This isn't GUTS! THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!
While Rachel and Shelby Menzel decide to express their fractured mother-daughter love with the timeless ballad "Poker Face," Emma, fresh out of SAT Prep and just strolling by, thought what most of America thought: "Did you just sing about your bluffin' muffin with your absentee mother who made out with your teacher?" Oh. Okay.
But that wasn't the only singing! Emma steps in and challenges Shelby to a duet, a song they make up on the spot and like most songs you make up on the spot, it's emotionally raw and kind of sucks. But it expresses their pent-up anger and disdain for one another perfectly!
Emma, who has now grown her hair out 4 more inches and ran through snow, gets to Will's office just in time for him to realize the enormity of his sins and for her to find her way back to SAT Prep.
Then Emma runs into Tina right before she finds Figgins. Tina shows off her teeth and Emma is slightly scared but that does not stop her from knowing what to say to the confused little vampire.
Before she heads back to (where else?) SAT Prep, Emma made one last stop to Will's office to tell him about WWEPW and how he looks kind of like a sexy Orville Redenbacher in those glasses and cardigan, but she is still not over what he did to her with RACHEL'S MOM. She develops a weird craving for popcorn and decides she better leave before things get worse, before they write a BAD ROMANCE. (wah wah waaaaahh) :P
Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-ro-ma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!