Emma wore this.
That's all I got. If you know what this top is, help a sister out.
Sorry to be such a grump.
Let me walk you through my evening.
I was tired. And cranky. But at 8pm sharp, I curled up on the couch, ready for Glee.
When I promptly discovered that had to sit through an hour of American Idol first. After two songs, I was wishing for earplugs.
But I made it. And then Glee started to frighten and confuse me.
Showing up to Nationals in New York with no songs
and a really bad hat
made no sense to me.
So you know what we'll do? Get some balloons, fart around in the park,
and dance all over the fountain at Lincoln Center
while our teacher does disco thumbs in the theater of a fake Broadway show!
Yeah! Good plan!
THEN, some teenage angst.
Which is always made all better by eating a bagel and drinking coffee in fabulous outfits outside of Tiffany's.
Followed by the one moment in the entire episode that warmed my cold dark heart.
No one told me all of life's problems could be fixed with a HAIRCUT, guys.
I thought it was eating copious amounts of chocolate and listening to Richard Marx songs on an endless loop. I am so 1985.
I know what you're thinking. Now, now, Danielle. Don't be so cynical.
You're right, you're right, I know you're right. There were many important messages in this episode.
Here's one: "Just be yourself." (I know, that one is really subtle, huh? You have to dig deep into the subtext to find it.)
Like Oprah on her final show, I'd like to share these lessons with you.
Mean people suck.
Even super incredibly hot show choir directors who used to rollerskate on Broadway.
And, the dreams you think you have aren't really your dreams, they're just more like weird little ideas you had during that half-sleep nap on the couch last Sunday, right before you woke up drooling.
Your real dreams should really involve being selfless.
With people who are your age but play someone fifteen years younger on television.
Side note: Who the hell?
Back to the life lessons.
If you put out bad karma, undo it.
Like with hugs in bathrooms and thumbs up and stuff.
Dance like no one's looking.
Or whatever that phrase is. I saw it on Facebook once.
And when life throws you a curveball, don't go all loco on everyone's ass.
Look for the silver lining.
And an adorable boy with great hair will fall in love with you.
Oh yeah, and friends. You gotta have friends.
Perfect skin doesn't hurt, either.
And you never know what tomorrow will bring. Or where you'll be in a year.
SO MAKE OUT WITH CUTE BOYS IN THE LIBRARY, DUH.
Always try hard. And do your best.
Because you'll probably still get a trophy or an award just for showing up.
EVERYONE'S A WINNER NOWADAYS!
You're welcome.
Screencaps from TV Caps.
