Friday, July 30, 2010

Making Up Emma: Vitamin D

Happy Friday! We are almost in August, which means almost September, which means Glee comes back! Here’s a Rewind to help get us through! Can’t wait to see the first round results of WWEPW Idol!

Making Up Emma: Summer Rewind

Vitamin D 1.06

Vitamin D is the Terri Schuester-intensive episode, which means it definitely delivered some epic moments. Although I am a licensed Team Emma member, Terri Schuester is a force to be reckoned with. Crazy like a fox, that Terri is. She knows something is up at McKinley High, with her husband and the “mentally ill ginger pygmy with eyes like a bush baby” (Sue Sylvester, ca. 2009) Those eyes have been awfully googly at her husband!

It all starts with the scene that basically set the bar for mustard and bows in modern TV.

Will gets some mustard on his perfect Greek-god of a face. Emma wants to do all sorts of messy things to him help him out.

She reaches out to touch him, with her plastic gloves on. (She always uses protection). The electricity between these two is off the charts. In fact, it could probably be used to power a small fish tank air pump.

Oh, is that the Insane Yellow Bow? Funny…how did that get there?

And in that scene, we get an absolutely adorable Will-Emma moment! Awww!! The SWEETNESS! MY TOOTH HURTS!

Look at these two! Could they be any more kitten-dimple-bunny-squeezing cute?

They cannot, and that is not lost on Sue Sylvester. Besides the way Will & Emma make her stomach turn like she’s eaten an old burrito, Emma’s ensemble is also bothering Sue’s eyes. Nobody wears 3 bows unless Sue clears it, and Emma never got a clearance. Even Aretha got clearance.

Will asks Emma to help him judge the kids’ performances, and her reaction was so sweet it gave me 3 cavities. Thanks a lot, Emma. That coupled with the earlier chin-touch means I have to get a root canal.

Seriously, how much more Bambi can it get? Any more and Thumper would have jumped out and started thumping that leg against Will. Everything is cute and sweet and Emma’s eyeshadow looks so amazing, all is right with the world…

BUT WAIT! DANGER LOOMS! TERRI DEL MONACO SCHUESTER GETS A JOB AS A NURSE TO SPY ON WILL! And to fluster our innocent little deer in a cardi, Emma!

If you are ever feeling down, stand in front of the mirror and yell “Methamphetamines!” in Figgins’ voice. Instant cheer-up.

Nurse Terri, graduate of the University of Folding Linens, gives everyone drugs. Glee is wired. Rachel is the only one not affected as her crazy is 100% natural.

The girls give a drug-induced performance of a mash-up of “Halo” and “Walking on Sunshine,” a song my 7 year old niece sang out loud in my car as the following version (this is what she thought the lyrics were)

But the kids are not the only ones being affected: Nurse Terri follows Will to lunch, and tries to bite kiss her husband in front of Emma just to show her WHO OWNS SCHUE’S HEART (still not Terri, sorry girl).

Terri then gets even GUTSIER. She barges into Emma’s office and threatens her! Poor Emma doesn’t see it coming. She is caught like a baby duck in a…situation that would make a baby duck really uncomfortable.

I don’t know why, but every time Terri comes into a scene, I feel like “Don’t You Forget About Me” should be playing in the background.

But Terri is not done. No, her trail of horror doesn’t stop at drugging teens, trying to eat Will’s face or threatening Emma. She wants to DESTROY Emma, so she convinces Kin to propose to her, which gives Emma a minor heart attack. And she says YES! Poor Emma is so confused and she hopes maybe marrying Tater Tot will fix all her problems, so she agrees, as long as Kin never comes anywhere near her and nobody knows that they married. TERRI SCHUESTER HAS WON….

…for now….

No Rewind would be complete without me blabbering on about Emma’s makeup. Emma had several scenes in Vitamin D, with the most chances for her makeup to shine. And for the most part, it did, especially in the scene where Terri launches a finger-spit-assault on Emma’s coffee mug. Her eyeshadow was a little darker than usual in the crease and it looked great.

And yes, I hold a grudge. :P


Danielle said...

I want to make an IYB magnet ribbon for my car after reading this! IYB 4EVA!

Seriously, girl, the Aretha hat...I may never recover from laughing at that... BRILL.

kjmull126 said...

Sheer brilliance, as usual!!

Adie said...

I nearly peed myself laughing at the 'LOL I got falsies too'

rachel said...

Ahahaha "will deserves better than you, babyfaker!"
Also, loving the iyb. There should be more in the world!

Kim Humes said...

haha this is hilarious and very creative! Terri Schue scares the crap out of me, and you KNOW we haven't seen the last of her. Emma should watch out! I love her though so Terri can suck it as far as I'm concerned.

Danielle said...

My fave:
"like a baby a situation that would make a baby duck uncomfortable."
Your funniest line in a long time Teresa!

Sarahnargle said...

Insane Yellow Blouse Forever! And damn straight even Aretha got clearance. (I love that hat.)

Emma said...

Amazing as usual! Thanks for making my day!

Megan said...

This is seriously the best ever. Between the Keebler elf in the hair and the falsies, I'm dying.

martine said...

A favorite episode made even more favorite!

Courtney said...

hahaha, the elf in the hair is definitely a great touch. That was a damn funny episode - for once, all the kids matched Rachel's level of crazy!

Brilliant, as always, Teresa!

Permanent Rose said...


And this post, of course ;)

Tea said...


I'm afraid though, Teresa. With only 52 days 12 hours and 6 minutes to go until Glee returns, what if you don't get to Emma-fy all of season one??? What then? We'll miss out on a whole lot of funny that's for sure

Lynn said...

You KNOW you just spawned a whole slew of Glee/Twilight crossover fanfiction, right? I loved this!

AmyB said...

IYB 4eva

Liz H. said...

OMG Teresa....can you just host your own 24/7 comedy show on Comedy Central or something <3 Your rewinds kill me <3 Crinkle Fries <3 Bah! Perfection as always!! :D

Anonymous said...

Will with a mustard mustache had me on the floor!

And donuts feel good!!! Your niece is so adorable Teresa!

LOVE the SNL reference! Kristen Wiig FTW!

And Sue with the Aretha bow is the funniest thing ever!! Glad you told us about this clearance issue for wearing bows, I was wearing 5 bows the other day without clearance!! :S YIKES!!

Eliz said...

You... are amazing. I want to cover your home with IYBows. YOU DESERVE IT.

Eliz said...

Danielle, the IYB car magnet is GENIUS. I am not normally a fan of such magnets, but you better believe I'd get one of those! Maybe with a nice "Never forget" on it...

Silly Bee's Chickadees said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Silly Bee's Chickadees said...

I had some awesome comments and they didn't save! :( Annnd, I'm too lazy to try to remember them. I love IYB on "energy pills"!


P.S.- that was my comment deleted. I forgot to mention the IYB!

Dana said...

OMG< the mustard mustacche killed me. And the Keebler Elf!!! I bow to your brilliance.

Heather said...

May I applaud your Paint skillz, Teresa!