Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Making Up Emma - Acafellas

Happy Wednesday! Here's the latest installment of our summer hiatus series. I hope you enjoy! And don't forget to vote in the Ultimate Emma Pillsbury Outfit Tournament (Go Green Milly Sweater!!! vuvuzela: zzzzzzzzzzzzz).

Making Up Emma: Summer Rewind


While Emma carefully dusts her already-clean office plants, she says something that will come back to haunt her later...


In this foreshadowing of the future, Will becomes worried. Whose to say Stamos doesn't have talent? Why did Emma bring him up?

The man once performed Jailhouse Rock at his OWN TV WEDDING TO AUNT BECKY! And he can harmonize on “Teddy Bear” with Joey and Danny. Schuester, watch out. The man DOES have talent. And I can tell you with certainty, he will be gettin’ some Pillsbury. :O (buuurn!)

Uncle Jesse also has something Schue doesn’t: He’s on Emma’s good side. (As of now).

Will is disturbed by this upcoming Stamosification and possible usurping of his position as Most Musical Man in Emma’s life, so he does what we all do in moments of extreme stress and uncertainty. He joins a boy band.

Will loves being the center of attention proving how talented he is, and considering the only other people on stage are Kin the Potato-man, Howard Bamboo, and that teacher who cut his own fingers off in class, he’s definitely the only eye-candy for miles. He’s Rico Suave up there, shaking that tight butt in those sweet jeans in front of Emma and his pillow-stuffed wife, Terri.

I only wish Terri’s face was in better focus during this scene. LOL at her expression.

We all know that Emma Pillsbury is not good at being subtle. Her enthusiastic clapping does not go unnoticed. *cue dangerous music*

At first, Acafellas is doing pretty well, but very quickly, the glitter of boy-band sports-bar (I almost wrote sports-bra) stardom gets to Will’s head. He is neglecting Glee club. Rachel F. Berry is in a tizzy. She tries to entice Will back to Glee with persuasive cookies.

Will doesn’t budge. Rachel gets mad and attempts the Dwight Schrute method of persuasion.

Emma is also concerned. Being in Acafellas has led Will to make questionable fashion choices.

It is in this ensemble (the Peach Monochromatic) that Emma Pillsbury delivers an amazing range of emotion within like 2 minutes of dialogue.

Srsly, if that’s not Emmy-worthy, then you know what? I don’t want an Emmy either. I don’t even want to be nominated, so don’t even TRY, Emmy-people, because you obviously don’t know talent in displaying emotional range when you see it. (on a for-real note, I’ll totally take any awards anyone wants to send me. I never win awards, except Best Speller in 4th grade).

Will can’t deal with the added stress of being in a failing boy band, so he recruits some new, more seasoned members to Acafellas.

At this time, Emma's clap-gasm almost earns the wrath of TERRI SCHUESTER. You know what I just realized? Terri's real name is probably Teresa. And it would fit, she's fierce like a Teresa. And Teresa is an ancient Greek name that means "I will throttle you if you keep eyeing my man like that." Look it up if you don't believe me.

Fortunately for Emma, the Acafellas performance helps her make a serious decision regarding Tater Tot.

And no Making Up Emma post would be complete without a look at Emma's makeup. This scene was my favorite because Emma had a light eyeliner on her top lid, and those fantastic falsies. Where did they go?? I think Ken stole them in the Back 9!

Emma thanks you for your time. Drive safely. :P

credit to my gurl Eliz for finding me the straightened version of this pic so I could do my damage. Big up, Portland!


Heather said...

Free Lindsay! Bringing the LOLz as always, Teresa. The kid that's writing Uncle Jesse: 1, Will:0 does look as if she's going to give me nightmares, though :\

Liz H. said...

"Kin the Potato-man" I'm sorry but this will NEVER get old LOL.

LOL at the Emma and Terri scenes <3 <3 <3 What are you clapping at? Clapgasm <3

OMG Teresa these posts are so epic <3 <3 I want to make an award for you and mail it to you :) I'll get on that :D

Danielle said...

BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! I can't stop laughing! SO MUCH AWESOMENESS. Free Lindsay! You are a genius, Teresa, who henceforth shall be known as Terri II, kinda like Audrey Too, but without the people-eating.

RachelB said...

Can I just take a second to thank you for these? They always crack me up and I want to share them with someone who will find them as hilarious as I do, but all my friends think my obsession with all things Emma is a little weird. So thanks for providing a place for us to collect. :-)

Eliz said...

You've outdone yourself!! Let's see:
1) that creepy gopher thing Joey was in love with
2) Michelle!
3) Will's winged kiss
4) THE shorts
5) Dr. Phil's always-amazing (cough cough) advice
6) SRSLY the Emmy committee (it's a committee, right?) is BLIND if they don't shower Jayma with awards. Wear padding, girl.

Ok I don't know why I felt the need to make a list, BUT I DID. Hilarious, as always!

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

And the award for the funniest blog that made me shoot pepsi out my nose is: WWEPW!

I hope you will stop by and enter my giveaway.
Two words:




Whichever you prefer.

kjmull126 said...

These keep getting better and better! I need to remember in the future to read these entries WITHOUT having a drink nearby! Ah!

Keep 'em coming! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Permanent Rose said...

Every week I sit here, reading these as I laugh until the point of tears, wondering how next week's will even compare.

But you never fail to suprise me, Teresa. I swear each post gets better than the last. Keep them coming :P

AmyB said...

TERESA TERESA TERESA!! I just have 3 things to say:
1/WTF is on the front of Will's boyshorts and how to I get me one of those for my very own? PLZ. I will hug him and pet him and squeeze himmmmmm. OhhhEMMMMGEEEEE those ab lines on the sides that disappear like a treasure map into those shorts..ahem excuse me. What day is it?
2/VERY disappointed that there was no mention of Stamos' appearance with the Beach Boyz. Aruba, Jamaica, girl I wanna take you tooooooo Bermuda, Bahama, c'mon pretty mamaaaa. Words to melt Emma's heart. Otherwise excellent work.
3/Thank you once again for shirtless Will pic. I like to think, you know, in my mind, that you have a checklist and #1 is Chesty McChesterson shots for Amy Berra.

Natalie said...

LMAO forever! Full House, Free Lindsay, Dr. Phil, haha so priceless! I do believe you win at life.

Anonymous said...

Teresa this post is full of win!!!

Emma's gonna git Stamos'ed! Ahaha! So funny even though I try to block this fact out of my mind on a daily basis! (Also look how much cuter Will is than Stamos, just sayin)

Love the air kiss! LMAO! Where do you get your ideas? And it's obviously gonna hit Emma first, she IS sitting in front of Terri!

Your post has also given me some great ideas, for example next time I want to blackmail someone I'll bake them a fresh batch of "I'll Kill You" cookies!

Megan said...

Full House + NSYNC + Glee? Are you trying to kill me? I can't take all my favorite things at once!

(For the record, NSYNC is a favorite of 1998-2002 me, not 2010 me.)

vacantmuse said...


Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Love the Stamos. How weird is it that I totally knew the song you were quoting "Forever"?

kjmull126 said...

Amy: Chesty McChesterson -- love it!!!

I think 'Stamosification' should be the 2010 Websters word of the year.

Megan said...

Amanda - Because it's the only freaking song Uncle Jesse ever sang. It bothered me even as a seven year old. ;P

Silly Bee's Chickadees said...

My husband met the Stamos in Vegas when he was married to the leggy amazon. He's supposed to be quite shortish. Yay! Stamosity! Can't wait!!!!

Silly Bee's Chickadees said...

P.S.- I hope Will never wears that hat again. I'm against those things. Just sayin'. What happened in the Rat Pack shoulda stayed in the Rat Pack.

Sarahnargle said...

I will now read everything RFB says in the voice of Invader ZIM. Quit STOP QUIT NOOWWWWW. Leave NOWWWWW!

Dana said...

LMFAO at Dr. Phil!