Making Up Emma

You never know when some good quality snark is going to sneak up on you and make you ruin your keyboard. I long for the days when good quality snark was available in abundance. Snark that was funny, but not mean-spirited. Snark that was born out of love and devotion.

I'd almost lost all hope, and then the skies opened and two angels fell from what I'm assuming is the TWoP that died and went to heaven. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that one of those angels was our very own Teresa - WWEPW regular, TV Land Awards Glee-Table-Hobnobber, Terri Schuester Expert and Substitute Teacher Extraordinaire.

I read this and laughed harder than I had in years, for this was the kind of fan-tastic writing I'd been missing. Thank you for renewing my faith in great snark, Teresa.

Please to enjoy Teresa's fabulosity.

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I would like to take a moment to make a post wherein I whine about the craptastic makeup on Glee as of late.



Srsly. I'm sorry Emma, but you deserve to look as bright and healthy as you did in the beginning.

WHO IS GETTING PAID to make Emma look like a dying person?! She doesn't ever look like that anywhere but on the show, and only lately! And I know HDTV makes everyone look like they have Swiss cheese pores but this is someone really trying.

Observe: The Evolution of Emma



Pilot: Emma looks healthy and vibrant (srsly, they need to bring back pilot!hair too, it was bouncy and she looked awesome) and this was shot 1.5 years ago. She has minor fine lines like any normal person who doesn't live in LA but watch as they age the heck out of her in one year. Follow me:



Showmance----I loved her eye makeup here. False eyelashes FTW. She looked adorable. Subtle eyeshadow and a light pink on her lips always looks great.



Showmance (the chalk scene): she had a smoky, soft eyeliner on. And rosy cheeks. Again, looking alive and well.

She also looks good while shaking her proper little groove thang during the assembly.



Preggers: Again, soft rosy cheeks and minimal eye makeup, a very soft blue to highlight her sweater. She really doesn't need a lot to look good. Like her clothing, Emma's makeup is classic and clean.



Even while she buffs her strawberries.


OMFG lookit how hot Will looks.

K--focus. Her eye makeup looks fantastic here. Again, always soft, because Emma's bright eyes don't require a lot extra. The shading at the outer edges and the long eyelashes are so pretty and make her already-big eyes look amazing.

Vitamin D: This is where Terri comes into her office to pwn her. And Emma STILL looks like an angel, even when telling Terri she's a crap wife and Will deserves Emmalicious better.



And then we get to the Back 9, with the Madonna episode, where Emma looked like she was fighting swine flu while facing a firing squad:



SRSLY. You are about to GET IT ON with Will. And you looked diseased. WHY THE FACE GIRL?! I know you're scared but good gravy, there is no excuse for forgetting concealer! Especially with such a light color fabric, which can wash out a fair person. DON'T FORGET THE CONDOMS MASCARA.



Hell-O: She had a moment during the scene (where she wants to brush before kissin') where she looked good and healthy with a great pink lipstick, but that lasted all of 2 minutes. Then we got this:



I know Will kissed off her lipstick, but he wasn't kissing her eyes, too! Or did we just miss that part? Why is Will kissing her somehow removing all her makeup?! Learn to kiss, Will!



Jayma Mays does not look like that, ever. She's gorgeous. If she were in a competition between baby kittens, bunnies and happy smiling suns for most adorable thing on the planet, she'd win. IDK why Emma Pillsbury has to look like she's old and anemic. Someone fire give that makeup artist a stern warning STAT. I could do a MUCH better job for half that pay and I have better eyeliner (and after dealing with 5th graders all day I would welcome a career change). The Madonna ep was just one giant example of how important makeup is. I know, lighting and angles and blah blah blah. But makeup! I loves makeup. I hate to see it abused so badly when it did nothing to deserve it.

Bring back healthy Emma!