Wednesday, November 10, 2010

No Pants Challenge Day 129 - Lima Loser Challenge

That historic day I tackled the UPS man and proceeded to rip open a box to reveal my very first pair of Penelope mary janes, a single thought flashed through my mind as I dabbed back my tears and snipped the umbilical cord.

One day, when my life is exciting, I’m gonna wear these.

AndI tucked the box into my closet. Another day, not too long after, my bow skirt came in the mail. And I thought to myself, One day, when I have a really cool job, I’m gonna wear this to work. And I hung it up in the Pillsbury section of my closet (because clearly I don’t want them under the influence of the more inferior clothing items). For weeks, I’d gaze at my Pillsbury clothes longingly, wondering when my ship would come in and I could wear something. And then I had another thought. What Would Emma Pillsbury Say?

Exhibit A:

This is the only mall in Lima, Ohio. Breathtaking, no? So let’s just all suspend disbelief for a moment, and imagine that Glee is for real. That Emma Pillsbury actually lives in a town where the nearest J Crew is 85.2 miles away. Anthropologie, 93.3. Kate Spade, 110. Where apparently the only semi-classy restaurant cannot deny a wheelbarrow from rolling in on its muddy tracks. I can only imagine the fashion horror that would parade up and down the baked potato bar at Breadsticks.

But if Emma Pillsbury thought like I did, then this website would be WWEPWOHLGREASCFWFCT? What would Emma Pillsbury wear once her life got really exciting and she could finally wear fabulous clothes? Catchy.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the Hollywood side of Glee that I really forget what lured me in the first place. The Lima Loser Effect. Extraordinary people who live very ordinary lives. Who care about what they do and how they look, whether the rest of the world notices or not. My TV fashion hero isn’t a woman who has a fancy luncheon or a club opening to dress for (sorry, Bradshaw) every day. It’s someone who makes the effort when maybe the only comment she’ll get is an insult. Who walks where the threat of flying, frozen syrupy debris lurks around every corner. In an environment where you could literally wring the greasy hormonal sweat out of delinquents like murky ShamWow juice. Where on one occasion she literally finds herself covered in chunks of Chablis-soaked vomit.

And does this woman ever give up? Does she slap on a bio suit and partition her office with a plastic bubble divider (Moops!!!) to protect her Kate Spade?

NO. Girlfriend has GUTS.

We should all be so brave and stop waiting for that imaginary occasion, when wearing the clothes is what makes the day special. Makes you feel a little more self-confident. Makes that one person in the grocery store stop and shamefully brush the pork rind crumbs off the bib of his overalls.

So pick a day this week, and be a Lima loser. Take that skirt, or piece of jewelry, or pair of shoes that you’ve been saving for the day that Oprah calls you up to tell you you’re on her new favorite things list. And wear them. Unless you currently have a child in the Linda Blair projectile stage of infancy or Mike Rowe has recently visited your place of employment, then there’s really no excuse not to crank it up a notch.

Then get in your car and go somewhere. Make your significant other take you out. If your other is not significant, get your wheelbarrow and go out to eat with friends. I like to wear my Pillsbury best for Thursday night dinners with my dad. Like the Gilmores, only without the scotch and passive aggressive banter.

If you don’t have friends, get out and buy fifteen Tide to Go sticks at Walgreens, because you’re going to need them when you inadvertently flick a gigantic blob of guacamole on your cardigan. Indulge your inner fantasy. Laugh casually and paw the ground in humility while you daydream about being interviewed for your latest achievement. Why just yesterday Terry Gross and I were reflecting on the 20th anniversary of my Emmy win for playing Sam and Diane’s love child on season 8 of Cheers.
Don't forget to report back, and I'll do the same.

Remember, Emma Pillsbury doesn't wait for something to happen. Her insanely sized bows draw plot development in like a Death Star tractor beam.

So live it up. Wear your best and engage the inner delusion. Just no sad music and car crying, okay? You're better than that. And before you know it, a hunky colleague will be running towards you in slow motion. Or if you’re like me, some kid will ralph on you. Either way, you’ll look fabulous.


Megan said...

Love it! I'm definitely one of those people who hide their best clothes away for a day when my life becomes exciting. I'll be a Lima Loser more often now.

Tara @ Tara Being Tara said...

I love this post! You are so right!

Danielle said...

Great post! I get teased constantly by peers, parents and professors alike for dressing nicely on an everyday basis while my cohorts roll into class in a practically identical uniform of flat-ironed hair, sweatpants, jeans and Rainbow flip-flops. That makes up about a third of the comments I get on my wardrobe. Another third is simple compliments. And the final third is the people brave enough to admit they're ashamed of how sloppy I make them look. Trust me--there is so much pride to be reaped from being the best damn dressed Lima Loser around.
Yay Lima Losers! Lima Losers hooray!

Jen said...

I love this post!! So true and so funny!

Shannon said...

This post made me unbelievably happy and proud to be a Lima Loser. I love you, Kathleen. That is all.

martine said...


Kathryn from Schoolmarm Style said...

This is a wonderful post. Do you mind if I link to it?

KittylovesKlothes said...

Singlehandedly THE best thing I have ever read on a blog and I read a LOT of blogs. How right you are! LOVED THIS POST!

Christina said...

A very good post indeed. And you described exactly the standard outfit (uniform) of so many people. It is seriously awful. Flip Flops are for the beach or for the shower at the YMCA/Fitness Club. Why don't people get that?
Anyway, I am with you. I try to dress better. I do not always manage, but I promise, I really try.

karla. said...

I love it.

I am awful for saving clothes for a "special occasion." I have a collection of flower pins that were hidden away in boxes for years. One day, about a year ago, I decided to wear them...and have tried to wear one every day since.

This post is very inspiring.

Anonymous said...

Love your post! I know this site is for Emma clothes, but Jayma has been on a few interviews lately. She was interviewed by Billy Bush and Kristen Dos Santos and I think she was wearing the Autumn Comfort Cargos from Anthropologie. Does anyone know? Also the shoes she was wearing for the Billy interview aking were fabulous. I need to get those.

Emily said...

How inspirational! Thank you.

Kathleen said...

Thanks everybody! Let us know if anything exciting happens if you take the challenge. Or especially anything unexciting.

Sarah said...

I just found this blog, and I absolutely love it! I look forward to finding all of Emma's fashions!

Kelsey said...

Amazing advice!
Thanks for the challenge.
P.S. Glad to know I'm not the only one who cries tears of joy over clothing.

Stephanie said...

As someone who actually lives in Lima, I should say that we usually shop in Columbus. ;)

Amy said...

I think I'm a Lima Loser from across the pond!

I don't mind admitting that this post left me with a little tear - as I'm a firm believer of not keeping clothes for 'best' because if we do that, then they will never get worn. We have to make the best of every day and take glee in what we wear and how we wear it.

Amy at Wonderland Boutique x.

val said...

oooh! A group of friends and I do this. We call it NTD (nicest things day) where the 10 of every month we use our nicest things whether it be clothes, or our fancy plates and dishes or opening a good bottle of wine. It helps us to stop 'saving' things for special occasions.

Anonymous said...

You just made my day!!!!!!!!!
I'm going out to dinner tonight, just a small Italian restaurant. Ok Pizza joint..I'm going to make all those folks in Jeans and sweatshirts sit up and take notice. There's a new girl in town. Thanks for your inspiration

Kiki said...

You girl made my day. I live in Mexico so it's almost impossible for me to get those amazing clothes Emma wears, but tomorrow I'll take my credit card and go to the mall to search my new Lima loser wardobe.

Angela Q. said...

I recently found your blog and I adore it!! I am so glad to see that I am not the only one who is obsessed with Emma's closet. Thank you so much for the wonderful post I am going to dress up for my weekly date with my husband rather than just throwing on some flip flops and jeans.